If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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