sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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