FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
