He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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