he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
