I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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