She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
