she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
