either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
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