dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
