the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
