I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
