She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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