He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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