You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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