next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
