Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
