i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Welp...herpes.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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