I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
