So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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