did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
this is an emotional support booty call
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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