Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Let's get the cat blown out
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
