If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
