my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
