Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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