The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
