one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
