Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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