It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
