She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
