So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
