garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
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