do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
