Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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