is wine microwaveable?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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