So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
