New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
