I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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