We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
