Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
