So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
3pm strippers are depressing
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
