it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
