Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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