One girl and one boy is just not enough.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize