I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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