Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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