can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
