I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
