Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
