what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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