Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Randomize
