I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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