YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
