Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
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