went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize