is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
