I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
