Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
