Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I think I am morally bankrupt
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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