This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
they need to just BURY HIM!
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
