Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
