her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
