Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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