I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
