do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
