finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
