Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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