So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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