According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.