ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
High School Students Hilariously Rank Celebrities By Their Stank For Class Project
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
15 Things You Truly Understand If You Sleep Next To Someone Who Snores Like A Rhinoceros Every Night
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.