The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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