did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
