You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
