now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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