Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
