Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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