My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
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it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
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There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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